Yaron L - stories and quotes from my K-M experience (2012-2018)

He was one of the most influential men in my lifetime. That father or wise grandfather I`ve never had. He never let us call him grandmaster, only simply "Yaron".

I admired his mental abilities, but only tolerated his behavior. Still, whatever he did was with purpose, guided by the zen philosophy and way of life.

Even the sucker punches in the arms, grabbing the inner thigh from the back or tapping the testicles were with good intentions, because we were not aware of our environment. We could only focus on the exercise, but life wasn`t an unidimensional controlled exercise.

He was as free as he could be. Imagine that he had no phone. Being a dynamic spirit, was always on the next flight to God Knows Where, in order to spread the knowledge handed to him by Imi L-feld, the original creator of the K-M. Still, Yaron answered every e-mail that contained questions regarding the techniques of the K-M.

“When a master dies, the next day hundreds of disciples and wannabe students of his create their own style.”

Probably the most important quote that i`ve heard him say was:

“K-M is a complete martial art. For one to be complete, there are five things to consider:

1. Punches

2. Kicks

3. Falls

4. Rolls, and the most important of all is 5.Philosophy.
Without it, we are simply brainless monkeys copying and doing some moves like fitness.

These five are interdependent. You cannot have one without the other. Many so called martial arts eliminated the ground combat, falls and rolls, because they did not consider it to be important. K-M is like a house, and every technique is a brick.”

“You should always perfect the techniques. Let`s take Makat Egrof Smol for example. If the punches at the dojo are 50% good and accurate, on the streets filled with adrenaline, about 10% of those punches will be good punches. Well, if you do 90% of the punches good on the tatami, chances are that 40-even 50% of the punches on the street will be effective punches.”

THE FIRST BELT

Before the yellow belt exam, the sensei told us when we meet Yaron to never say good morning to him.

The second after we entered the sports hall , guess what we did, out of habit.
He made a pair of huge staring eyes, and screamed from the top of his lungs:
“IT`S NEEEVER A GOOD MORNING. NOT WHEN I AM AROUND! Now go get dressed!”

We were shaking throughout the whole training. He forgot all about it.

When the training was approaching the end, I was called in front to demonstrate the beitat magal, (kick with the ball of the foot to the head or the ribs of the opponent). Nervously, I bent my left knee a lot in order to gain stability.

He screamed again: “NO. NOOO! ... AGAIN!”

The second time wasn`t that great of a try either.

“NOOO, IF YOU WANT TO SHIT ON THE OPPONENT, THAT`S THE WAY TO DO IT.”

He puffed and continued: “Again! I have all day. What about the rest of you?”

(pause from the students)

“You have all day also. So continue, please. We are waiting...”

I did it better, by not bending the knee that much.

“See? That`s more like it. But no applause for you. Next time, maybe ;) ”

When I approached him in order to kneel and get my diploma, he put it away just as I could take it.

“For you, mister knee bender, you have to do something extra for this diploma, if you want it. Do you?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Are you sure?”

“YES!”, I cried firmly, with an echo.

“For this diploma, you have to kiss this bald instructor on the cheek.”

The guy on his left side smiled and locked eyes with Yaron.

I shook my head negatively.

“Tell me, Istvan, did he pay?”

The bald guy nodded his head.

Yaron looked straight into my eyes

“You sure you don`t want to kiss Istvan! He is a good guy...”

“I am certain.”

“It was a good offer, but if you refuse…” and handed my diploma in disgust and sent me back to the row with a wave of his left hand.

A few QUOTES

“I was a fool once, when I was young. I thought that sex could solve all the problems of a woman, because us men are like that. I will tell you now. They are not! We men when we ejaculate, all the problems go poof. With women, five minutes after that orgasm, most of them remember or make up new problems. As a man, you cannot solve all the problems of your woman. Do not even try!”

“Women are complicated. If a woman says no, she means maybe, if she says maybe, she means yes. But if she says yes, she is not a woman anymore.”

“K-M is like sex. We do sex in order to penetrate the woman`s vagina. That`s why every punch and kick must go through the target. In this case the magen"

"You have nothing to prove to anyone on the streets.”

" Sometimes the warrior has to put his sword down and learn to use the writing feather pen."

“Religion is a waste of time. It`s not balanced. Why, when I talk to God every night I am a good Christian, but when God talks to me, they send me to the mental hospital. Where is the logic in that? ”

“One time, a student of mine from Brazil came to talk to me after the training was over. She was beautiful, a 30yo brunette. She dared me to hit her as hard as I can. Being a gentleman, I said I will not do this, not in front of everyone. When she insisted, I grabbed her neck firmly with my right hand and with my left I hit the top of her head with a firm hammer punch. Do you know what happened then and there?  

She came loudly. She had an orgasm. Everyone that had watched, including myself were shocked. She thanked me and a week later she brought her boyfriend to learn K-M because she wanted to get punched good during sex. What people do outside the tatami is their business.”

CAR

“When you are in a car with two aggressors in your right and on your left, do not do makat marpek latzad an the same time with boths hands. You do not have the necessary force to hit your enemies good. Choose one. Say you want to hit the one on your right side. First grab his left wrist of his arm with your left and hit him with marpek using the right elbow in his head. This must be done very very quickly. 
The same goes with one aggressor, if you are driving. Be very careful to distract him. You can hit the brakes and then take him out.”

“If you have a lighter in a car, you can use it to burn the inside of his thigh, if he is wearing shorts. If not, go for the hand. If you have a key that has a pointy tip, you can use it as a weapon to stab his neck or even better, one of his eyes. If you are a woman and he tries to subdue you, do not resist, but once you get close enough, bite his neck as hard as you can, or his ear.”

“If an enemy points a gun at you, get out ant climb onto the front of the car, wave hands and scream. Do anything you can think of. Attract attention to yourself, and this will attract attention to your agressor, which may give up afterwards.”

KNIFE

At the knife defence seminar he puts the wooden pointy “knife” in hand and waves it around without purpose, cutting the air around him.

“Do you know what this is?”

(total silence)

“This is fear.”

The students look at him in awe.

“Let me tell you. All this complicated attacks and defences you see on the internet, are fake and dangerous for the one that belives it could provide real use. 
This fancy stuff doesn`t work. In a real knife fight in Rio, where I live a man came to the ER with a long knife wound that went diagonally from his chest to his belly. It was superficial. The doctors got him 50 stiches and sent him home with pain relief. He was as good as new in 10 day or so.”

“People have no idea what they are doing. They do not know how to punch, let alone kick. With a knife, the story is the same. But sometimes they get lucky and the other party loses a finger in the fight. By chance. Well, it`s one finger, but not your life.”

GREEN BELT

Bucharest, June 2014. It was one of the hardest trainings, because of the double heat (directly from the sun and indirectly from the hot pavement). The water breaks were rare, but the good guy instructors managed to get a big water bottle with a doser and some plastic glasses.

Yaron put us do Blimat Kasha (hard fall in the front, with a hit) about 15 times, until my elbows were aching from the margins of the bad quality leather imitation tatami.

One moment he was watching the picture of Imi with a pure heart and he stopped the training.He called one of the woman students from Cluj in front and asked her what her height was. She said that she was 1,55m. Then he told us to watch her carefully and continued saying that all the masters of the original martial arts: Morihei Ueshiba (founder of the Aikido), Jigoro kano (judo), and Famakushi(Karate) were no taller than 1.50m, but were great in spirit. As for Ueshiba, legend has it that he was frequendly picked on by the other children in his school for being the smallest one. That`s why he developed his martial art. In contrast, Imi l-feld was one of the tall masters. He was 1.73m.

When the training was over, he put us in a like in order to take a picture and after we all gave a big round of applause he told us the following:

“1. Congratulations. You are all green belts. You won`t die on the streets. Not easily.”

2. I will see about 25% of you in the next belt. Because that`s life. People come and people go. I do not know the reasons, and frankly I do not care.”

3. Drink well, fuck good, and have a great life. You deserve it.”

And by God he was right. The number of students at the blue belt ceremony was as predicted.

*

BLUE BELT

During that 2015 blue belt seminar, I had to throw my sensei`s wife onto the tatami. It was the Kavaler techniques. On a regular basis, I had done it a hundred times, but now I could`t do it. I would`t do it. Yaron saw us, frowned and said slowly, pausing deeply in between words:

”You are afraid. Why?”

I swallowed: “I-I-I am not.”

The whole room stopped and stared at us.

He continued, calmly: “Yes, you are. You are afraid of her? She is half your height and weight.”

“N-no.”

“If there is no problem, then do it.”

She was trembling with fear, and begged me through words, eye contact and her mimic to not do it. Still, I wanted that belt, so off she flew on the tatami.

“Good. That`s the way to do it!”, he applauded my performance.

***

During a special training involving the use and defence from sticks in the Polivalent Hall of Cluj Napoca, as I was exercising with my partner, I suddenly realised Yaron wasn`t in my field of wiew anymore. After one fraction of a second I realised the grand master was behind me.
My bearded big bellied partner froze like he`d seen a ghost or something. I closed my eyes tightly, tensing my lips together, tilting my head back and expecting the worst.

Two long seconds pass, and I started counting: “three, four, five”. My breath was fast and my hands were a bit shaky.
I open my eyes and with the developed peripheral vision I saw something. His head was just over my right shoulder, smiling. There was a spark of joy in his left eye.

“Aaaa, you were expecting it. After all these years of training you learned! Goood!”
Then he walked away so proud and so peaceful... For about 5 seconds, until he found the next unaware victim. That bloke`s noggin got a taste of the master`s almighty staff of justice.

***

We were sitting down in between the exercises at another yearly special training.

“Hey. You. Please tell me what car do you drive.”

“…”

Frowning, visibly disgusted:“Doesn`t matter. A very large one, right?. 4 by 4. Why?”

“To survive in Bucharest…? Ummm, to make my enemies die out of envy.” (laugher from the sides)

“One word. Competition. Men must have competition. To be better than others. A little is good. Too much only reflects the social hierarchy. Are you ready to defend it and maintain it? A warning: it`s a race against others.”

One spring morning we had an instructor course in Buna ziua, Cluj-Napoca. One of the students was a woman in her early 40`s, which was a kindergarden teacher. Yaron put her to do a blimat leachor (fall down on the back). She fell controlled as if a feather was landing. Yaron raised his eyebrow and put her do It again. She fell in the exact same manner.

Yaron, disgusted blurted out a sincere: “Of course. Look at her (talking to another black belt instructor). She is a woman. She doesn`t need to show strength, like men. Although she could be mentally stronger than you can ever imagine.”

At the same training, he gave us a few pieces of advice.

“The purpose of a good instructor is to divide the exercise into as many small steps as possible, that are repeated again and again, in order to help the student learn and understand every step clearly.”

“When we were in orange belt with Imi as an instructor, we did beitot magal (side kick) for six months in a row, until we achieved perfection.”

“The most important fight as an instructor is with the parents of children. One time, a father came to me, because he saw my poster with the flying kicks. He told me that his son is eight years old, and he would like for him to learn this kick in 2 weeks. Imagine his reaction when I told him that this kick is learned in brown belt, which is after six years. We cannot skip steps here. It`s not like in the movies.”

“The biggest problem an instructor could have is an ambulance in front of the dojo. You are finished as an instructor.”

“The human body was not meant to do gilgulim (rolls over) naturally, but that doesn`t mean we cannot learn to perfect it. That is why in training every day is gilgul day.”

“The most important thing in the Krav-Maga is Amidat Motza. When you are in it correctly, you are the most powerful man in the world.”

He looked at a bald collegue of ours and asked all of a sudden:

“YOU. Are you gay?”

“No.”

“How do you know.”

“I am not gay.”

“How can you tell if you never tried it?”

(The whole room burst out laughing)

Turning to another guy wearing an orange belt.

“You. Do you watch gay porn?”

flabbergasted, he said: “No.”

“How bout you. The not-so-gay-guy?”

He smiled, and played along: “Well. There was one time I acci-den-tally watched one.”

Yaron put his hands on top of his head.:”How? HOW CAN YOU ACCIDENTALLY WATCH GAY PORN? Do you know how much money I have to pay for cable in my house in Brazil to “accidentally watch regular porn?”

(The laughter in the room was unstoppable.)

After 5 minutes of jolly good times, he turns to me, probably because of my near dream state.

“You. Abuzaka [the father of the beard]. I have a question for you.”

“O-k…”

“Does the tree care that a bird is sitting on his branch? Answer simply YES OR NO.”

No response came, and I stood there shocked.

“You think about it. Let`s continue the training.”

Afterwards in almost every demonstration he kept asking me if I have an answer. Finally, in the last part of the training I said frustrated:

“Maybe. How should I know the answer?”

“You sure?”

“No”

“The answer is that there is no answer for this. It`s a zen saying.”

/* one day I mustered up the courage and curiosity in order to ask a zen teacher about this. She said that nature does not have an ego, so only man cares or not that the bird is on his head. The equation was nature(bird) was sitting on nature (tree). They were in perfect harmony with each other. There was no one to care. In conclusion, Yaron was brilliant! */

The last training that I joined was regarding handling Multiple Opponents.

Yaron said: “One opponent comes to us and we perform a defence, afterwards another one comes and we do a defence, and then a third one and so on. If there are many opponents, we grow tired and we start becoming afraid. That`s why I recommend avoding these situations where there are too many of them. Life is not like in the movies, where the hero is attacked by only one opponent at a time, in an organised manner. Let`s say if you are a high level belt you could do with 2-3 attackers, but no more.”

Thank you, Yaron for all the lessons, tons of sweat and the jolly moments at the trainings.

Febra Halloweenului in caminul X (Hasdeu -CJ)

Totul e handmade: palaria din carton, toporul la fel, pana si papionul. Total timp investit =4h

Cea mai tare chestiune a fost cand domnul presedinte al USA a iesit din camera cu toporul in mana stanga si in mana dreapta tinea punga cu gunoiul. Din usa din stanga camerei a iesit un rezident brunet si plinut, costumat in Dracula.

Strig: "A-HA! Moarte Vampirului!"

El facu niste ochi...

Cred ca vazuse filmul Abraham Lincoln the Vmpire slayer, ca a zbughit-o pe usa de vizavi, trantind-o. Apoi, o unda de soc vui in tot palierul.

Nu are rost sa va spun ca dupa ce am aruncat cu succes gunoiul era sa nu intru in caminul IX....

Nu era datorita ferocelui portarului cel vigilent, stravechi protector al colegelor, ci datorita palariei, ca nu intrase de tocul de sus al usii.

El se crapa de ras pe scaunul de dupa gemuletul de termopan.

***

In club am facut senzatie, dansand Gangnam Style cu toporul in ambele maini. Am fost remarcat de un student originar din SUA, care venise intamplator pe acolo. Am primit respecte, nu ca as fi fost presedinte, ci pentru reusita costumului. Era o confirmare ca nu degeaba am crescut (rabdarea) barba in cateva saptamani.

Tot soiul de vizite

 Ora  9:55. Luni.. O hoardă de rezidenţi îngânduraţi se strânseseră în faţa saloanelor de la  etajul  I al Spitalului Clinic de Recuperare. Fiecare cu specialitatea sa, îmbrăcaţi fiecare în colorate costume de clinică. Spitalul se putea mândri cu astfel de piloni de susţinere (albastru, verde, roşu, siclam).

La ora 10 începea vizita mare. Fiecare işi repeta mental prezentarea cazului său, cât de bine posibil.

Uşa mată de la intrare se deschise, iar un domn la vreo 60 de ani, slab, scund păşi degrabă având mâinile la spatele halatului de molton albastru închis. Era grizonant, cu ochelari dotaţi lentilă groasă, dreptunghiulară. Intră în primul salon, şi responsabilii după el. Repejor, salonul se umplu, iar jumătate dintre rezidenţi rămăseseră pe coridor.

Era salonul VIP. Pe domul profesor îl aşteptau acolo doi pacienţi, fiecare cu toracele ridicat pe pat la un unghi de 60 de grade. Erau  intubaţi de câteva zile la aparate.

Rezidenta brunetă cu costum galben, având părul prins în coadă începu prezentarea cazului. Vocea îi tremura, iar privirea era îndreptată în jos, la foaia de observaţie.

O voce răguşită: ”Văd că ăştia doi nu discută cu noi.”

Rezidenta înghiţi în sec.

 Tăcere.

“Când le dam drumul  la ăştia?”

Ea privi către uşă. Un doctor scund şi rotofel făcu un pas înainte, iar cu o voce de mitralieră ii se adresă:

„D-Domnule profesor, nu avem cum să îi lăsăm acasă. Joi le punem Holter de tensiune, respectiv de EKG. Mai trebuiesc investigaţi.”

„Nda. Bine.” ,spuse el plictisit „Cum de sunt pe paturi?! Pe astea două TREBUIE să le avem libere.”

„Au venit vineri amândoi. Ziceau că au vorbit cu băieţii de la angiografie!”

„BĂ! Data viitoare spune-le să vorbească cu MOŞU! Că el e şeful aici. Nu băieţii!”

Tăcere şi mai mare.

Mormăi ceva, îndreptându-se spre uşă.

Rezidenţii făcură loc, luând forma de pâlnie.

El se opri, se întoarse cu jumătate de corp înspre brunetă şi îi acordă ferm feedbackul:

„Auzi, mâine când prezinţi să te uiţi la mine în ochi, nu unde te-ai uitat azi. Nu-s nici pitic, nici aşa urât.”

Ea scârţâind ca o mâţă: „Da, să trăiţi!”

  

Salonul 3 era de femei. Cinci doamne stăteau întinse pe pat.

Nici nu a început bine rezidentul să prezinte cazul, că fu degrabă întrerupt.

„Doamnele nu ştiu cum să stea. Ca la plajă... Nda. Nici o treabă nu au. Când vine profesorul, măcar atâta respect să stea în fund. Când eram eu de vârsta voastră, pacientul la vizită stătea în poziţie de drepţi.”

Rezidentul înalt cu ochelari il întrebă din priviri dacă poate continua.

Proful observă pacienta aflată în patul din mijloc. Era ca o aşchie palidă, la vârsta a treia, cu plete, inexpresivă şi cu o privire fixă, aţintită în tavan.

„Şi doamna ce aşteaptă? Aşteaptă şi ea zile mai bune...”

Chicote de râs de pe hol.

 

Veni şi rândul meu, în salonul cinci, plin cu bărbaţi.

Până să încep, feedback-ul veni: „ Băiete, auzi ceva cu stetoscopul ăla?”

Codindu-mă, scot un jumătate de „Da.”

Continuă rar şi clar: „Fii atent. Nu vă zgârciţi la bani. Uneltele trebuie să fie de calitate, ca la un maistru bun. Ce ai tu acolo e stetoscop de tensiune.”

Pune mâna pe planul de tratament, agăţat de pat. Îl studiază atent şi ridică sprânceana stângă.

„Domnul de pe pat e ardelean. Se vede.”

Tăcere.

Proful continuă schiţând un zâmbet, întorcându-se înspre hoarda de rezidenţi.

 „Fiţi, băi atenţi. DOUĂ BETABLOCANTE în schema de tratament! Şi cu toate astea încă respiră.  Cum e bradu-n munte!”

Salonul şi holul vuiau de valuri de râsete.

„COR-NE-LE!”

Un doctor flegmatic şi plictisit răspunse afirmativ.

„Fii băiat bun şi nu mai sta toată ziua în sala de angio. Mai coboară de pe tron şi verifică foile pacienţilor. Multe cazuri din acestea am văzut în ultima vreme, veniţi cu scheme. Nici pacienţii nu ştiu să işi ia tratamentul, că nu li se explică. Nu contează cum vin, ci cum pleacă. Vezi că e reputaţia noastră aici. Suntem cea mai căutată clinică din Cluj, iar voi aveţi privilegiul că învăţaţi de la noi. E un motiv de bucurie.”

 

 *** 

De departe cea mai provocatoare vizită am avut-o când eram de gardă. Se apropia ora 18. Eram singurul rezident pe două etaje. Vizita mare, cu proful era la etajul 1, iar la 2 aveam internat un pacient suspect de pancreatită.

Am fost singur la vizita mică la etajul 2. În al doilea salon, cum am intrat, am trezit fără să vreau o pacientă stresată, care a făcut tensiune când m-a văzut. Degrabă am fugit la camera asistentelor, cerându-i să vină cu aparatul EKG, aflat pe masa volantă.

Cum să fii în trei locuri deodată?

Între timp, rezidenţii se strânseseră la etajul 1. Tot am transpirat până a ieşit hârtia roz din aparat. Nevăzând modificări am luat-o la sănătoasa pe scări în jos, ajungând simultan cu domnul profesor.

Pe când s-a terminat vizita mare, pacientul de la etajul 2 era tot mai rău. Am ajuns cu el la ecografie, iar doamna doctor s-a uitat cu sonda nu tare potrivită după o posibilă cauză. Dânsul avea câteva pietricele în colecist, deci am reuşit imposibilul.

Mai departe nu ştiu ce s-a întâmplat, deoarece m-am întins în camera rezidenţilor. Nici acasă nu dormisem aşa de bine.

 

Elanul Insulei - recenzie de carte

Cum recunoști o carte bună? Oriunde ai deschide-o, găsești răspunsul la o întrebare pe care ți-ai adresat-o cu minute sau ani în urmă.

 

Mă aflam în fața sediului unei firme de curierat din Cluj, direct sub un soare intens, intr-o zi torida din luna septembrie. Eram ultimul de la coadă si curgeau toate apele pe mine. Dintr-o dată mi-am amintit ca am în ghiozdanul negru ceva interesant. O cărțulie verde cu alb,anume Elanul Insulei de Lucian Blaga.

De îndată ce am deschis-o, m-am umplut de lumină. Fraza pe care o citisem era de o dulceață profundă care a străpuns toată suferința plicitisitoare în care mă aflam.

 „Inteligența devine genială nu din resursele inteligenței, ci din cele ale pasiunii.”

 Citeam câte un aforism și cugetam, zâmbind. După 30 de minute de beatitudine, coada s-a terminat și eu eram surprins și dezamăgit. Mai voiam să stau la coadă, deoarece eram de departe cel mai fericit din mulțimea de oameni încruntați și îngrijorați.

 Cartea de față este o colecție de aforisme. Aforismul (DEX 2009) este o cugetare enunțată într-o formă concisă si memorabilă.

Câteva citate: 

„Slăvită mai presus de toate […] fie iubita, care preface mărarul, cimbrul, carnea de porc și varza în frumusețe de înger”

 „Pentru un îndrăgostit „lumea” nu este decât o rimă a iubitei.”

 „Copilăria este inima tuturor vârstelor”

 Pe această carte o recomand nu doar celor aflați la cozi interminabile, ci și celor care vor să privească altfel viața, dincolo de propriile obiceiuri,  exersând profunzimea aflată între fiecare aforism.

Joaca de-a simturile

 O lumina de culoarea florilor de rapita intra prin geamul intredeschis, perfect rotund, in timp ce nucul de vizavi scartai intens in valul de vant puternic. Norii de plumb se oprira deasupra casei cu etaj, batand degraba ca zece mii de tobe shamanice. Geamul se izbi de perete cu forta unui taur, imprastiind in toata camera esenta florilor de liliac violet. Intensitatea sonora ii provocara fiori pe umarul drept al lui Cosmin.

"Astazi se anunta cod portocaliu de ploi!", anunta degraba printre bazaituri vocea pitigaiata a crainicei de radio. Barbatul sari din pat, inchizand in doi timpi radioul si geamul, asteptand aparitia primilor stropi de ploaie. Acestia se transformara in grindina, care batea ritmul pe masa din fata geamului, cea rotunda si neagra de tabla, iar vantul se juca cu ce a mai ramas din tigara lasata in scrumiera.

"Natura se curata. A apasat butonul de restart", isi spuse programatorul zambind armonios.

Despre gaming- update la postarea din august 2020

 In lockdown m-a ajutat grozav, oferindu-mi un mediu virtual variat si colorat. Nevoia de varietate, de crestere prin explorare.

Am observat ca am valoarea relaxare printre cele prioritare. 

Cand am un timp bine delimitat, avantajele sunt maxime. Exact ca si ping-pongul, ajuta la coordonarea mana-ochi.

Un lucru inedit e ca daca joc doua jocuri in paralel, comenzile sunt diferite pe aceeasi maneta. Aceasta ajuta la flexibilitate si adaptabilitate. Ca o limba straina.

Recent, profit de dopamina data de castigarea unei misiuni a jocului, astfel incat am energie in plus sa pot construi rapid ceva in viata reala de pe urma starii de bine de dupa victoria obtinuta.

Cu care dintre aspectele de mai sus rezonezi? 
Lasa-mi, te rog un comentariu. Parerea ta conteaza!

On going to church. An analysis

I like to see religion more as spirituality. I am curious to learn about other customs, and not repeat patterns that I could not give a damn about. 

Church was mandatory on sundays. I hated the uncomfortable shoes and clothes that I had to wear. The reason we went was because my father loves the idea of the perfect happy family. Well, my folks got a divorce so at least we weren't going to church anymore. 

A year later, at 17, while grabbing a beer with my father, I told him I did not see the point of going into a smelly hot room with no air, overcrowded with old strangers that bathe every week or so, ready to judge and gossip at every fellow that walked in the room. Secondly, I knew the programme for every sunday, because it is the same every year. The priest could do some variety on the subject, or does he think we children are so short minded? People understand what they are willing and what they are ready to, so why bother repeating?

If I went to church, I chose my own clothes that felt comfortable, so he didn't take me anymore. Another important criteria was to trust the priest, to see wether I liked him as a person.

I did go once every few weeks in my college years, when there were no people, just to feel the silence  and the coolness of it (on a summer's day that is).

I had plenty of arab collegues and was intrigued of their midnight bong smoking, dietary religious requirements and wiew of their back home customs. many of them were half romanian and knew rhe language well. Because I was the curious and non judgemental one, I quickly blended in. 

Back to churches. It was a funny thing that the campus's church was full during the exam session, because the students thought that praying a lot will get them to miraculously pass the exams 😄. The other ones came only to study, because it was one of the quietest places around.

Nowadays, I put subtitles with similies over what people are saying regarding religion and life truths. Translating into my own words, helps me understand that we are meaning and saying more or less the same thing, but with different words, coming from the same source.

I am not attending church anymore, because life teaches me every step of the way. I always ask what do I have in common with this person? What can I learn from him? This helps with creating harmony around me, that sadly I hadn't found inside the cold walls of any church.

Nowadays I go for a walk in the woods in the weekends. I remember a picture with nature and the quote "I am going to tell my kids this is church". Sounds like a plan to me.

What I prefer in women

 What do women do that make her attractive. This is a short list.

1. Blushing- indicating vulnerability. That is an auto response. Cannot be faked.

2. The tone of her voice (I am an auditive learner from the VAK). Cannot be faked for long.

3. Good habits: non smoking, being fit. Work out 2/wk.

4. No fake stuff in her body. None of that. Makes me puke.

5. Being smart. There is nothing sexier than seeing a woman read on the train/bus/metro.

6. Having her life and friends. There is life outside the relationship.

Too good not to share and keep

 This comment was so good that I had to save it. Credits go to brancaleonifra

 There is a rule in fantasy, Brendon Sanderson wrote it. it's quite simple but effective:

limits>powers.

today we are facing the trend of strong female characters that are strong and powerful just because is fancy to see a woman so powerful.
Man in black: the girl can do anything, enters the MIB centre for the first time alone, can drive, fix and fight whatever. new star wars sage, the girl is the most powerful jedi ever in a finger snap, no character grow or develop.

limits are what really defines interesting thing.

Ripley was way weaker than aliens.
Sarah Connor was paranoid, violent and schizofrenic,
but also: the ring is powerful on Sauron only, gives you the illusion of power.
or again, Luke Skywalker is a jedi but he doesn't know a shit about the force.

things like that. if you don't theorize some limits, you will make this political bland and lazy narration where men are just big sacks of sperm and women are so strong because they are women. with is lame and boring to watch.

How Hip Hop and Rock music saved my life, one song at a time

I am an East EU millenial. I listened to Eminem, 50 Cent and Snoop Dogg in my youth. Snoop was the best model ever, because I lived, walked, talk, ate my life in the 5th gear of anxiety.

I started my adolescent days every morning with Snoop's Upside ya head. I was helped by the end of the spectrum chill songs like Ups and Downs, Sixx minutes, Dogg named Snoop, Gold Rush, revenge of Jimmy Bones, Boss' life. I loved the funk like sax in his songs.

Before every major event i played "Fuck with Up" to get me in the mood. 

🎶

Rock/Metal music also provides an edge to the nice guy behaviour. Warning: do not go full retard with rage. 

In my early teens I listened to Linkin Park for their rhythm and message. My grandma stopped judging Chester's screams after I translated some lyrics of my fav songs.

When I was 18 I discovered Devildriver. It helped a bit, but in the long run only fueled my anger, pride and after those were gone, I was left with my melancholic self, not having actually done something to free myself from the tasks/triggers that I was running away from, when hiding from the world, by puttint my headphones on.

For the curios people out there, some examples include: I dreamed I died, I could Care less, Driving down the darkness, Swinging the dead, and the intro to End of the line is sick AF.

Having little control on comprehending my feelings back then, there was no need for this genre.

I feel like ending with a funny one. After ending my faculty, one night I discovered Nightwish's Over the hills and far away. I kicked my chair back and started doing pushups like a maniac. This stuff works!

Nowadays, I always come back to Metallica, Sabaton, Manowar. One of my all time favourites is Sapari, by Orphaned Land.

Ultimately, what music brings chills yo your spine is the one you need, regardless of genre.  

Have a great, musical day!

Când nopțile îți sunt numărate

Ușa din lemn masiv explodă în sute de surcele, lăsând în urma ei o căldură insuportabilă. Bărbatul aflat în cameră simți un fior pe șira spinării. Era sau nu vinovat de cel întâmplate?

O siluetă portocalie cu dungi diagonale brune își făcu apariția în prag.
Pășea lent și apăsat, de se zgâlțâia veioza verde lângă care stătea Albert.
Acesta deschise într-o clipită geamul, sări pe căpița de fân proaspăt și o luă la sănătoasa. Doar un urlet teribil se mai auzea din depărtare.

Flăcăul se simțea bucuros că a scăpat, dar îl prinseseră furia și dezamăgirea din urmă. Lăsase în urmă casa bunicii lui, cea în care a copilărit, în care a sărutat prima oară o fată, și în care după mulți ani și-a descoperit în pod mama cea spânzurată. 

Nu era timp de asta, deoarece pădurea cea înnegurată se apropia și umbrele parcă dansau în jurul lui. Doar luna plină îi mângâia ochii cu lumina ei cea fină. Pe mâsură ce pașii lui îl purtau tot mai repede, numeroase crengi medii se agățau de membrele sale, iar cele mici se izbeau repetat de pieptul său, făcându-se ferfeliță.

Deodată, printre foșnetele frunzelor maronii el auzi un susur de apă. Nu se bucură mult timp, că uriașul apăru în spatele lui. Luă pe sus un buștean și-l aruncă în direcția lui Albert, zbierând: „IEȘI AFARĂ DIN OGRADA STRĂMOȘILOR MEI!”

Bărbatul scăpă sărind pe burtă și rostogolindu-se direct în apa aproape înghețată. Știa că nu putea supraviețui mult. Simți că viața îi se scurge, la fel ca și cascada de care se apropia vertiginos. Era lungă, rece și se termina brusc, la fel ca și norocul lui Albert.

El închise ochii și se simți nespus de ușor, predându-se bolovanilor care îi pregătiseră ultima lui imbrățișare.

Tips for the runners out there

 While on Reddit, LifePro Tips channel or LPT, I stumbled upon a post that wanted to motivate people to run for no matter how long, just doing it matters. Well, it was kind of general and nonspecific, so i wrote this. Enjoy!

The couch to 5k in 3 weeks helped me a bit.

The first useful tip is maintaining a run/walk balance. Checking the smart bracelet for a timer. My ideal balance was 1 min of running and 2 min of walking, even on snowy weather that made my eyes full of flakes.

Secondly, 2-3 layers of the right equipment and running shoes do wonders, no matter the weather. It's better to dress for the temperature.

Thirdly, pre run warm ups and post run stretches or yoga do wonders in the long term. Also a nice medium firm foam roller.

Fourthly, the best tip is proper breathing. The free video Wim Hof breathing exercise is helpful before the run. 

During it take one half inhale in sync to one step and the second to the max capacity of air with the other step. So 2 steps inhale 2x, 2 steps exhale 2x( 50% and 50%).Take smaller steps in order to match the breathing.

With this last tip I aced my October C25k in 4 sessions, not in 15. After 3k i said it works so it was cool. I finished, even with my mask on. Now I wear a buff that is even better.

Good luck out there and have fun during the run!

Scurt istoric despre apartenența la grupuri

Timp de 6 ani am practicat o forma de arte martiale, care mi-a armonizat legatura dintre minte si corp, si m-a facut mai ferm, mai disciplinat si mai increzator in fortele proprii.

De 7 ani fac parte din comunitatea Toastmasters Romania si Republica Moldova. M-a ajutat sa cresc, sa ma fac auzit si sa imi organizez mesajul cu scop. De asemenea, mi-am slefuit abilitatile de lider prin mai multa si mai variata responsabilitate decat la serviciul pe care il desfasor.

Alternativ, în ultimii trei ani am participat la cateva cercuri de masculinitate fata in fata si online, depasind provocari emotionale si hranindu-ma cu energia grupului, cea pur masculina.

2020 mi-a adus oportunitatea de a facilita Integration Game online, fiind printre primii care a visat acest lucru. Sunt recunoscator Integration Game pentru ca pot creste mai departe, din ce in ce mai armonios si mai cunoscator de sine.

Cucerind limitele fizice

De departe cea mai utilă idee trăsnită pe care am avut-o înainte de BAC a fost să mă antrenez pe un deal la proba de viteză. Mă mir că tata a fost de acord. 

Dimineața, cu 3 săptămâni înainte de examen, mă trezeam la ora 6:30, luam 2 pahare de apă la bord și băteam drumul către Piața mare, prin alergare ușoară alternativ cu plimbare. 

Când treceam pe lângă sala de net, patronul cu vestă de TIR-ist îmi făcea cu mâna. Într-o dimineață însorită își face curaj și mă-ntreabă: „Tu la ce facultate dai?”

„La medicină”, răspund gâfâind.

„Aoleu, ce greu e! Fenomenal, dom'le. Acum se dă și proba sportivă?!”

Am plecat chicotind.

O sunasem pe mama să meargă la primărie și să întrebe acolo care e distanța dintre doi stâlpi de curent. Până și ea  a făcut mișcare, preț de 2km. Obțin răspuns că între aceia sunt 25m.

Ținta mea era să alerg pe deal în sus cât de repede pot între trei stâlpi.

Înclinația rampei era de 20 spre 30 de grade, dar suficientă pentru tonifierea mea. Știam că rezistență nu aveam, datorită provocărilor din copilărie cu inima. Mi-a rămas viteza, deși eram mai mare fan al flexibilității, preciziei și a vitezei, de exemplu săritul de pe o piatră pe alta sau parcurgerea cât mai rapidă a digurilor de la Marea Neagră.

În ziua cu pricina, era să-mi rup lanțul de la gât stând în cap, roata țiganului am făcut-o cum am putut, dar flotarile, statul în mâini, handbalul și săritura în lungime au mers grozav. Ultima era proba de viteză. Ținta era 6.7 secunde per 50m.

Cipri stătea în poziția lui favorită: Cu brațele încrucișate. Lângă el, alți zeci de adolescenți gălăgioși.

„Baftă, gras. Fă-mă mândru!”

Andrei, starul nostru de fotbal din clasă îmi ură: „Doar să fii atent, Hori. Va fi bine.”

Am tras la sorți, deoarece ne punea câte doi, pentru a trage mai bine de noi. Am picat cu un tip blond și slab, cu o figură mârșavă, iar brațele și picioarele lui erau numai fibră. Sigur lucrase în construcții sau la câmp.

Eu eram de două ori cât el. Aveam emoții când l-am văzut, mai ales că în fața mea era o ditamai balta, de la ploaia de azi-noapte. Eram fix în fața băncii unde cu două luni înainte ne-a umilit doamna Perjan, dar asta nu mai conta. Inima îmi bătea cu mai multă putere de data asta. Aveam adidașii norocoși de la neamțu, cu care fugisem de la engleză. Erau ușori și fuseseră cu mine la fiecare alergare.

Când fluierul răsună scurt, startul meu a fost lent, dar l-am ajuns rapid pe hojmalăul aflat în stânga mea. În prima jumătate a distanței, eram ambii cot la cot. Decid să nu-l mai urmăresc și să îi dau TOT CE POT! Prietenii mei contau pe mine!
M-am conectat cu obiectivul meu și I-am dat fum, iar mulțimea strânsă lângă bancă a rămas perplexă: „OOOOO!”.  

Rezultat: 6.3 vs 6.7 secunde.

„După privire și după atitudine eram convins că îi dai clasă.”, spuse Andrei.

„Biine, graas! Știam că poți”, bate Cipri palma cu mine.

Despre Încredere în sine și valorizarea propriei persoane

Valorizare: Cum mă pun în valoare?

1. Recunoașterea nevoilor proprii și comunicarea lor pe cat de bine pot. Idei corelate: “Eu sunt aici. Eu merit. Eu contez.” Câteva mențiuni:

Am observat că dacă stau și aștept momentul potrivit pentru a comunica, cu atât

e mai mare presiunea pe mine. Dacă aștepți peste acel moment, riscul de a deveni

tăios este tot mai mare.

2. Petrecerea timpului cu oamenii sau în locurile în care pot aduce valoare în mod natural.

3. Hainele atent alese, confortabile, asumate și îngrijite conform stilului meu.

Exersarea flexibilității în funcție de mediu.

Încredere: Cum aleg să am mai multă încredere în mine? 

Legată de a putea și de a alege, dar și de obiective clare și dorința de a plăti prețul pentru ele. Când știu unde vreau să ajung, mă îndrept spre el cu încredere. Puterea de a alege se află mereu la mine.
Mantre ajutătoare:  „Îmi iau puterea înapoi” „Sunt conectat la mine și la nevoile mele.” „Sunt prieten cu mine și mă accept.” Nu pot avansa dacă fac un pas înainte, iar celălalt rămâne ancorat înapoi.
Mă ajută inspiratul adânc, de ex Metoda Wim Hof,  concentrarea în Hara (2 cm sub ombilic). sau trei-cinci contracții susținute ale muschiului PC.